shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize