Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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