I just gift wrapped bread.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
