I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
