White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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