She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
