My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
