I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
ttyl tear gas
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
