i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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