BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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