I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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