don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
