So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
