He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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