Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
