evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
