Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
