ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize