if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
