So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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