this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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