SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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