I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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