Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't deserve a penis
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
