just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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