U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
