If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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