Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
