I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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