well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
