Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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