doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Non-Jews are for practice
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
