We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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