Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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