your parents love me but you hate me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
