The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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