I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
