This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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