So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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