first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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