So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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