super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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