Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just want to make out with him forever
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
