That's intense
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
