People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
