I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize