I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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