so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Randomize
