**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
