absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to have your abortion
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
