i would punch a child for taco bell
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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