hotel room ftw
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
