fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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