I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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