Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
