community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
