Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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