i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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