nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is wine microwaveable?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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