Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
