What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
