You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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