I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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